Stories from Diana Earth Mission (DEM) in the Lands of New Mexico 1985

For all those who supported the journey of 13 to the lands of New Mexico on the Diana Earth Mission: We would like to make an offering to you of a story of our time there, a sharing of some of the events , the landscape, and the feelings; we did not do this just for ourselves, but for all of you as well, and it is important to share the wealth! Most of this is written by Foxfire, and some taken from her journal. Keep in mind there were 13 different journeys, but you will not hear from everyone!

How does on put into human words the sound of coyote yelps and screams rising up to the ancient ruins, while a pregnant moon laughs down up one two lone women’s fears? … Or what we heard as the sound of Earth crying out with intrusions on her body, the rape of her essential self, the calling for her healing?… Or the sound of the heartbeat of a gathering of women in the wilderness? I do not feel agile enough, at home enough with the world of words to do more than this feeble attempt here, which I offer to you as a shadow of what Diana Earth Mission was about.

“To those who have had the experience, no explanation is necessary.. To those who have not, no explanation is Possible”

When thinking about what to share of my experience with DEM, a very clear and simple learning for me comes to mind. It goes like this: Listen to, take seriously, base my life doings, actions, focuses from moment to moment on the inner voice within me who is all knowing, creative, and knows no boundaries of time and space.

This learning was nurtured in many ways:

The way in which we made decisions, (also how we didn’t make decisions!), by consensus, self-initiated facilitating of group activities, and a good friend telling me to ‘speak up’ help me to share, to listen more closely to that voice inside me.

Participating in the vision quest process, seeing how every person returned from their earth-solo time with answers to their questions that they sought answers for.

The daily sharing of the song and dance woven into the day opened me to the source of these expressions, allowing them to spontaneously arise.

The focus and exploration of our dreams with all their insightful revealings of ourselves.

The daily communication and listening with the rocks, trees, rainbows, stars, moon, animals, everyone! Learning that very clear relationship and communication is there if one simply listens and believes!

So with the limitations of words, these are the main ingredients in the recipe for me. Quite the nourishing dish we did cook up!

What it meant for me to be on the land in New Mexico with my 12 sisters…

• A challenge to feel my feelings fully with the space to do it in
• Time to listen and decipher message from my dream life
• Making a powerful sweatlodge
• Calling in the four directions one at a time and feeling their different energies
• Knowing that the east, the south, the west, and the north all have different qualities and are important in a way that I am working on understanding
• Space to feel the grieving of the earth, of her species dying out, of her voice not being heeded
• Space to lay in a clear, cold valley stream and merge with it
• Opening my voice to the canyons—crying out as loud as I could
• Being part of a community that lived (and still lives) with the most consciousness we could muster of our inner guidance and of the voices of nature, especially the trees, rocks, and stream
• I miss the smell of the earth, of making my bed on the earth.
• What I miss the most is not having a community around me that is all the time being conscious of our connection and responsibility to the earth.

I am the otter rolling playfully on the ground; I am the water flowing; I am the mermaid swimming; I am a horse running as fast as the wind. I am fire; I am the stars; I am the eagle flying from night to day; I am the mouse crouching.

Before the time came for us to leave for New Mexico, I wrote down my intent: I want to free myself. I want to enter the wilderness and find a quiet place where I can shed my skins. I want to gather together all my fears, sorrows, disappointments, anger, and falsities from the past and release them as I would a handful of balloons. (Then I could live in the present). I will watch them float away and then it will be time to celebrate. In a circle we will all laugh, and cry, and sing. Our heat will mingle with the heat of the fires. Our life blood will flow and we will feel strong! The animals and plants and celestial bodies will join our circle and when we return to the Northeast, our circle will join the men’s’ circle, and we will all dance together, as one.

I do feel that I freed part of myself, though I learned quickly that no one rids themselves of fears, sorrows , disappointments, and anger. I learned and am still learning, to accept my emotions. As for the rest of my intent (or dream), we did dance and mingle with the fire, and we certainly did bleed a lot. Oh, if you want to begin your period, sniff the armpit of a furry female friend, .. It really works. !

Looking back on our journey to New Mexico, I realize that I gained a greater understanding of what it means to be a part of the medicine wheel. On my vision quest I explored death, one small part of the whole, and when we all reunited, we shared our experiences with each other. This sharing, gathering of views of the whole of life, made me feel enriched. I realized how important it is to listen to each other. There is no One Way, so we needn’t feel threatened by others.

I think it important to say that our journey did not begin in New Mexico. Our shaping of the group and our way of making decisions was very important. I, for one, quickly learned the difference between facilitating and leading. Although facilitating is a longer amoeba-like process than leading, which is a forceful process, it makes me realize how important the individual is. Thank you everybody.

HEART’S DESIRE THY WILL BE DONE. Words unspoken flowing from the earth mother into my consciousness telling me to LISTEN to PAY ATTENTION, to be SLOW, to RESPECT BOUNDARIES.

Beauty all around. SO Beautiful and all a reflection – a mirror–of the beauty within. “I am so glad to be alive, so grateful to be here.” The days being with the slow and peaceful rising of the sun. Giant vulvas in the clouds. Ancient rumbling cliffs. Oh wondrous stillness filled with the dawn’s soft colors. “

Other Messages:
MY BODY IS SACRED, I must take care of it. MY ANGER IS SACRED, I must honor it . “ For I am a wise and powerful being. My visions come to me in my dreams and mediations and the forces of my anger helps carry them through. “ NO, I am not to be violated. The earth reverberates through me. Ancient mother, I hear your song.

DEM was a time for me to really listen to the earth and hear what she is saying. All of the above words in capitals are sacred Earth Mother wisdom. They are my sacred earth mother wisdom. DEM was a time for me to discover what the earth speaks through me.. through my feelings, my thoughts, dreams, and visions. Through my dance. Through the essence of my being the earth speaks.

It is hard to express in words what I learned in New Mexico, because I did not speak it there. I speak too much. My words cut me off from who I truly am. How can I hear, see, feel, the pulse when the words drown it out? LISTEN< LISTEN< LISTEN and know the soul’s purpose. “It is so wonderful to realize how unique each of us is, how much wisdom we each have to offer, and how much we have learned about listening.”

During this time I felt the universe supporting us: “COURAGE MY CHILDREN, FOR YOU ARE TRULY BLESSED AND LOVED BY THE POWERS THAT BE.” And we were humble. The earth asked for her boundaries to be respected. We followed our heart’s desire. So many messages. And we heard them. We listened. The messages came in many forms. Not always in words. In dance; in butterflies; in water flowing; in beams of light touching the earth; in sharp and painful cactus stabs.

All remarks in quotation marks are from my DEM journal.

We were called I believe… 13 women bravely facing themselves.. willing to ask for guidance and to take the risks involved in following our inner truth. By the end of the 5th day, I began asking myself in earnest “Just what am I doing here? “ I reflected on the vision I had during my quest in Oregon a year ago: How did my experience there relate to what I’d come to New Mexico to do?

I decided to create a sacred time of listening, making the commitment to follow whatever guidance I received.

The following day, Laura and I descended the cliffs and entered the magical land of the waterfall… we built an altar beneath it, asked for the protection of the spirits, and spoke our intentions for the day. We removed our clothing and crawled onto large boulders that straddled the creek. Water flowing over rounded stone silenced us… the listening had begun. I felt a tingling, something was about to come through and I moved to another boulder, cool and egg-like, smelling sweet of moss and lichen. “You are to be still during your time here. DO not stray far from camp.. learn to travel the universe inside yourself and in your baskets. Your quest is to practice readiness.. .learn to weave your intuition into form by creating a basket of each of the women in your circle. Sit with their spirit and allow it to guide you in the design and material that make the vessel. Offer your giveaway, and know that in doing so you are empowering your spiritual journey.. you are moving closer to your vision.”

Hello? Oh my goddess! Laura found me moments later, saw a change in me and asked what I was experiencing. I think it was spiritual shock and recognition undeniably strong. I was stunned that my higher self answered so swiftly and with such clear direction.. that was a powerful lesson that I learned again and again during our journey.

And so I honored my guidance and sought to learn about an art form that I thought I knew nothing about. I was greatly challenged to weave my personal time with the demands of the circle. Everyday required increased flexibility and discipline. I spent mornings sitting with my teacher tree, a young ponderosa pine rooted precariously on the cliff over which the creek tumbled 80 feet. I would sit at her base, around which a perfect seat was carved by nature in the rock.. legs and arms wrapped tight finding great comfort and strength from her spirit… both of us understanding each other’s love of living on the edge.

I spent many hours gathering material to weave.. the baskets for some women required roots of juniper, cedar, and fir. .. others called for the flexibility of willow, for pine needles, wild flower, yucca and small creek side plants. Each woman’s basket grew as I did. Some were easy births. Others took weeks to complete. As our days in the wilderness drew to a close, my work became more intense… having surrendered many day of basketry for the benefit of time spent in council. Balance of group and personal time called me to return to my inner voice, to seek guidance again and again as the circumstances of our circle changed.

The day before we left, my baskets were complete. I prepared for the giveaway ceremony. Women gathered flowers while I smudged all of the baskets. At dusk we drew together, welcomed the spirits that had guided me and silently beheld the altar of 13 uniquely different baskets.

My sisters had known little of my journey through the weaving of intuition and form. I shared my struggles and successes… and sitting there before my creations, in the circle that honored my process and never doubted my ability to fulfill my purpose, I joyfully gave away my lessons in being a beginner, speaking to each woman, telling her how I had journeyed with her while making her basket. Though there were insights that didn’t always make sense to me, they of course understood. We passed each basket around the circle, and I asked each of us to feel, smell, and sense the power held within it. I asked that we visualize filling these vessels with feminine power, this being part of my original vision. At the close of this ceremony, I gave silent thanks. The giveaway had so empowered them and I know that my vision was now being held by 12 women I deeply love and trust. I buried the 13th basket in the pit we dug for our sweat lodge that night.. giving back to the earth the beauty and courage she has given to me.

What I got from DEM was an experience of the possibility of a different kind of world… a world where what is consistently valued is trusting one’s inner voices; trusting that one is always doing the best one can at the moment; trusting one’s feelings, intuition, dreams; trusting other ways of communication besides words. … dance , song, art, silence, tears… and hearing truth beyond the words used; trusting the spirits who we live amongst; trying to listen always to their voices and guidance and needs as well as our own; a world where people know and believe in–without doubt–elves, druids, gnomes, Little people; where all children of the great spirit have voice, .. rocks, trees, birds, wind, moon… ; where we know the earth as our Great Grandmother; a world where what is valued is loving oneself, and loving life.